29th July 19--

Dear Mr Wooster,

I scarcely know where to begin. I am grateful for your continued concern, but I could wish that your insight into my behaviour were less keen. Please, if you have ever harboured any feeling resembling friendship for me, assume that this is a matter on which I do not wish to speak, and respect my desire for silence.

I remain yours,

Reginald Jeeves.

1st August 19--

Jeeves,

I've been mulling over your last letter, and it has me in a bit of a quandary. Mired in the horns of a what-do-you-call-it, so to speak. I have harboured feelings of friendship for you -- it isn't customary to say such things of one's valet, but setting aside all that, I do consider you one of my my best friend. And for that very reason I have half a mind to toss aside pen and paper, roar down to Brighton in the two-seater, and haul you back here bodily. Admittedly that would be a rather formidable task, since I have never been one of these birds who can bend iron bars and wrestle grizzly bears, but I find the prospect tempting nevertheless.

I am, of course, fully aware of all the times you have saved this Wooster from the soup. I suppose, in a manner of speaking, I am very deeply in your debt, and therefore not entitled to ask for favours, if one is inclined to apply the calculus of accountancy to such a delicate flower as friendship, which strikes me as crass. But that's by the by. What I was going to say was that of course I consider you a friend, and of course I want to respect your wishes; but I want to see you, too.

Dash it all, Jeeves, it's just not the same here without you. The sun is dim in the sky, the stars do not brighten the night. The wine lifteth not the spirits. Neither do the spirits, come to that. I got through half a bottle of best single-malt Scotch last night, and it didn't make the slightest bit of difference.

I had no idea that the Drones could pale on me, but it has. I know you've never been there, but I found myself looking at everything as if through your eyes, or as close as I could manage. I don't think you'd like it there. I could just picture you shimmering in through the front door, discreet and silent as only you can be, quirking a single eyebrow, drinking a solitary drink, and then leaving so quietly that nobody ever knew you were there. Well, when I'd conjured up this entrancing image, I found the club had lost a goodly portion of its lustre. I just couldn't find it all as amusing as I usually did when I knew that at the end of the night I'd be returning chez moi to a Jeevesless homestead.

In short, I do want to respect your desire for silence, in a manner of speaking, but I want you back here more. Bear in mind, if it's something that might get you into trouble, you've got more on me than I could ever hope to have on you.

Yours,

Bertie.

3rd August 19--

Dear Mr Wooster,

I am moved by your declaration of friendship, and although it goes against all my instincts and training, I shall break this self-imposed silence and confess the reason for my abrupt departure. You have been candid and patient with me, and you deserve a better response than I have given.

In brief: I have, for some time, been harbouring feelings for you that go beyond the bounds of the professional, or even the friendly. Of late these feelings have been troubling me more than usual, perhaps because it has been five months and two weeks since you were last engaged. I had hoped that a brief period of separation would suffice to quell them, as it had before, but I hoped in vain. The old saw that "absence makes the heart grow fonder" was never more true than in this case.

This being so, I am sure you understand that it would be impossible for me to return. It would be fair to neither of us.

I appreciate your forebearance.

Yours,

Reginald Jeeves.

3rd August 19--, 5.12 p.m.

(Reply paid)

SILLY ASS IS THAT ALL STOP COME BACK SOONEST STOP MISS YOU STOP PROMISE WILL BE LESS BLIND IN FUTURE BERTIE

3rd August 19--, 6.21 p.m.

COMING BACK BY NIGHT TRAIN STOP WILL BE VERY GLAD TO SEE YOU AGAIN JEEVES

3rd August 19--

Dear Mr Thompson,

While you have discharged your duties as valet admirably, I am afraid that personal circumstances dictate that I must let you go. I enclose four weeks' pay in lieu of notice; I trust this is acceptable. My new valet, Mr Jeeves, will be only too glad to fix you up with a position elsewhere.

Yours faithfully,

B. W. Wooster

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